The Quintessence of Ham

Wow.

This place sucks! Every­thing was insipid beyond belief. Hello, flavor?

The Florida theme should have tipped me off imme­di­ately, since it is well-known to be the worst state (even Okla­homa has Meers). A place spe­cial­iz­ing in fish tacos should at least aspire to Cal­i­for­nia or even Texas. Maybe Baja. But not Florida.

Despite the uni­formly bland cui­sine, the place was rel­a­tively full for a Sat­ur­day lunch, a tes­ta­ment to North­ern Virginia’s famously sophis­ti­cated palate.

I asked Sarah whether she thought it was funny that the ubiq­ui­tous and shitty tilapia main was $14 while the other “catches of the day,” tuna, mahi mahi, and grouper, were only $1 more expen­sive. Sarah wryly noted that they were all the same fish anyway.

Salt would help some, though arson might work better.