The Quintessence of Ham

Wow.

This place sucks! Everything was insipid beyond belief. Hello, flavor?

The Florida theme should have tipped me off immediately, since it is well-known to be the worst state (even Oklahoma has Meers). A place specializing in fish tacos should at least aspire to California or even Texas. Maybe Baja. But not Florida.

Despite the uniformly bland cuisine, the place was relatively full for a Saturday lunch, a testament to Northern Virginia’s famously sophisticated palate.

I asked Sarah whether she thought it was funny that the ubiquitous and shitty tilapia main was $14 while the other “catches of the day,” tuna, mahi mahi, and grouper, were only $1 more expensive. Sarah wryly noted that they were all the same fish anyway.

Salt would help some, though arson might work better.