The Quintessence of Ham

Upscale junk food? Who would believe it?! So read the shocked reviews of this mediocre burger joint. The locally-raised “kobe” beef patties are small, dry, and overcooked. A bizarre combo veggie burger and kobe is equally disappointing, with the veggie patty’s strong crab-cake-without-the-crab’s taste overpowering the meager beef patty. Fries are advertised as cooked in olive oil, which seems like cynical marketing since plenty of other unsaturated fats are far more suitable for deep-frying. In any event our fries were greasy and oversalted. Homemade milkshakes are the lone standout, though made too thick to be truly enjoyable. Even in its aggressively franchised state, Five Guys blows this place out of the water.